Talking Yourself Into It: A Gentle Mindset Shift for Taking Sustained Action

You know that moment: you’re about to do the thing that would genuinely be good for you…and a quiet (or loud) voice starts listing every reason not to.

You’re tired.
It’s not the right time.
You’ll start tomorrow.
You don’t have enough energy to do it “right.”
You’re feeling WAY too comfy.

Yeah.

If you’re a high-achieving professional, you’ve probably learned how to power through for everyone else. Your team. Your clients. Your family.

But when it comes to your own wellbeing…your health, peace, relationships, your spiritual alignment…it can feel surprisingly easy to talk yourself OUT of what you need most.

I want to share with you a simple shift I learned for myself and use with my clients: learning how to talk yourself into what’s good for you…without pressure, without perfection, and without pretending.

Ponder: instead of talking yourself out of walking a mile, you talk yourself into walking a half-mile. Instead of “I have to fix everything,” it becomes “What’s one simple step forward, that moves me closer to 'that'?”

“Talking Yourself Out Of” vs “Talking Yourself Into”

Talking yourself out of, is usually fear wearing practical sheep's clothing. It often sounds reasonable. It often sounds protective. But it keeps you stuck. You can rationalize all day long…but it gets you nowhere.

Talking yourself into is not lying, hype, or forcing. It’s wise self-leadership. It’s you being the chooser, and choosing alignment over avoidance…at a pace you can sustain.

Out: “If I can’t do it perfectly (or THIS way), it’s not worth starting.”

Into: "I say a small step is worth stepping into.”

Out: “I don’t have time.”

Into: “I have five minutes. I can do five minutes.”

Out: “I’ll do it when I feel (like it, motivated, ready).”

Into: “I can take one step even without full-blown motivation.”

Do you see the difference? It's not always a simple positive/negative situation. But "out" is always a way out, and that impact can be negative.

Why We Talk Ourselves Out of What’s Good...

Even when we want it

Here’s a little “truth in love” for ya: Sure. There might be…a little laziness in there. You could also be carrying a mix of real-life limitations and old inner belief patterns that taught you to stay safe by staying still; “good enough” by stalling; tomorrow-minded by ignoring the importance of today.

Here are a few common reasons:

A) You’re exhausted…mentally, emotionally, spiritually

When you’ve been in constant output mode, even good things can feel like “one more demand.” Your nervous system doesn’t care that it’s a walk or a journal entry. It hears: more effort, and you’re just not up for it.

B) You hear “good for me” and think “big and hard”

If your standard is always “go big,”…friend…you will naturally resist starting. To you, small steps feel pointless. Well…until you see what they actually do. I say...build trust with yourself.

C) You’ve been disappointed before

If you’ve tried and “failed,” your mind may attempt to protect you from feeling that again, by convincing you not to begin. And that failure could have been either in the process, or the ability to keep going (and finish).

D) You’re afraid of what consistency will require

Ah. I see this one all the time. It’s when the fear isn’t the action…it’s what the action might reveal when done repeatedly.

“If I start walking, then I’ll have to face my health in more ways. I’ll never keep up with all of it.”
“If I start setting boundaries, then I’ll have to face who benefits from me not having any, and make some tough choices. I don’t want to make people mad.”
“If I start a spiritual journey, then I’ll have to make sacrifices I’m not ready (or willing) to make. I don’t want to commit to anything long-term.”

The “Half-Mile” Principle: The Bridge From Avoidance to Momentum

Here’s a mindset shift that works, because it honors real life:

Stop negotiating whether you’ll do the ideal version. Start negotiating a doable version.

Instead of:

“I should (or I need to) walk a mile.”
“I should (or I need to) meal prep for the week.”
“I should (or I need to) meditate and journal for 20 minutes.”

Try:

“I’ll walk around the block.”
“I’ll prep one healthy snack.”
“I’ll sit in quietness for 2 minutes.”

I know it may look like it, but this is not lowering the bar. This isn’t being a woos. And it’s definitely not wasting your time.

This is building a bridge. A bridge from avoidance to momentum.

And bridges are how you get from where you are to where you’re going…where you’re meant to be.

I always say, choose a path that offers a bridge.

This might be it.

How to Tell When You’re Talking Yourself Out of Something Good

Talking yourself out usually has a few recognizable patterns:

All-or-nothing thinking: “If I can’t do it fully, I won’t do it.”
Future-tripping: “What if I start and can’t keep it up?”
Perfection protection: “I need the perfect (best, X) plan first.”
False morality: “It’s selfish to take time for myself.”
Identity assumptions: “I’m just not the kind of person who sticks with things.”

If any of those feel a little too familiar...take a breath.

Awareness is the first step…that leads to progress.

A Simple Script: Talking Yourself Into It Without Forcing It

When you notice resistance, try this three-step conversation with yourself:

Step 1: Acknowledge your reality (no shame)

“I don’t feel like doing this. I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. I want to avoid it.”

Step 2: Name why it matters (with love, not pressure)

“But I also know this supports me. This helps me feel better…think clearer. This is a kind choice for my future self.”

Step 3: Choose the smallest aligned step (your half-mile)

"I was going to do a mile. I’m committing to ten minutes. I can do ten minutes.”

Then do the small step immediately…before the debate restarts. 😉

Practical Examples: How This Looks in Real Life

Health

Out: “If I can’t do a full workout, I won’t do anything right now.”
Into: “I’ll stretch for 5 minutes and drink a full glass of water.”

Emotional wellbeing

Out: “I don’t even know what I feel, so journaling won’t help.”
Into: “I’ll write one sentence: ‘Right now I feel ____ because ____.’”

Relationships

Out: “We never have time to connect.”
Into: “I’ll send one meaningful text. Or I’ll ask one real question at dinner.”

Work and leadership

Out: “I can’t start that project until I have a full, uninterrupted day.”
Into: “I’ll open the document and outline three bullets. That’s it.”

Spiritual grounding

Out: “I’m too distracted to pray or read today.”
Into: “I’ll take one minute to breathe and say, ‘God, lead me in the next right step,’ and listen.”

The Boundary Truth: When “Talking Yourself Into” Means Into Rest

Not every “I don’t want to” is avoidance. Sometimes it’s awareness.

If your body is signaling depletion, the aligned choice might be a nap, an earlier bedtime, or saying "no" to one more commitment. It's about boundaries, and…you have to step into that. It’s easy to say it’s what you need, and not actually…do it. 🤔

Here’s a simple check-in question:

“Will doing this small step nourish me…or will it drain me further?”

This is orchestration, not balance.

You’re listening for what supports the whole of you. Step up to it with the baton, and orchestrate that. 😊

Here's What I Know to Be True

You don’t have to wait until you “feel like it” to take one aligned step.
Small steps are not that small when they rebuild trust between you and what's good for you.
Your life changes when your inner conversations change.
God created you on purpose, from purpose, for purpose. He wants what’s best for you…and you are allowed to live that truth.

My Encouragement to You

Today, don’t ask yourself for the mile.

Ask yourself for the half-mile. The five minutes. The single honest conversation. The one boundary. The one glass of water. The one page. The one prayer.

And if your mind starts negotiating you out of it...meet yourself with truth in love. You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to keep walking.

And here's another take on that, that I incorporate...all the time. Have you ever set out to do the thing...and you feel you can do more? Yes! This is also something you can talk yourself into.

I've set out to just do "the mile" and when I see the sunrise, or feel the wind in my face, or...just take some deep breaths...rather than heading back as planned...I turn the corner, and keep walking. This can apply to any life area. Does that make sense?

My encouragement here is...BE the chooser. Choose the good. The better. The best...in the moment. Take the baton, my friend...and orchestrate your life.

Sometimes you can use a guide, a sage...an encourager in your corner. I'm here for you. If you’d like to talk through what you’re navigating right now, you can:

Book your Bridge to Breakthrough Chat

These complimentary Chats are going away soon, as I've talked myself into changing my business model. Grab a spot while you can!

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I'll meet you on the bridge!

Deni