Who's Talking In Your Head?
There was a point in my life, when my thoughts were shaking me at my bones, and my mental health was challenged big time…to the point where I had to STOP. I literally broke down in a corner in my bathroom…on the floor…in tears.
I had to stop!
I had to stop and open my eyes as wide as they would go, and ask myself, “Where is this even coming from?”
Has anything similar ever happen to you? I mean…maybe you weren’t on the floor…but you get the idea. Broken.
If so…I don’t think we’re alone.
Our inner dialogue can break us
It doesn’t always have to be a shout. Sometimes it comes as whispers…like doubt. Like criticism. Like a voice from your past that’s still trying to narrate your present, and speak your future. And that's how it was for me.
I wasn't the "doer" of the deed that caused so much stress and grief in my life...my family's' life...but what was said, and how others acted toward me...made me feel otherwise, sometimes. I really KNEW it wasn't because of me. But the voice in my head was a "what if" or "if only" that played constantly...just like the physical pain I was in.
And even when the physical pain was (almost) gone...the residuals of blame and frustration...rared their ugly heads far too often. And then I realized...the truth:
Not every voice in your head deserves your "host" attention.
So, what’s playing on shuffle in your mind? Whether it’s:
- “You should be further along.”
- “You’re not the one for this.”
- “What makes you think you can…?”
- Or something else...
Thoughts like these, after awhile, can feel so familiar to you, that they also feel like truth. You think you should be their host! Let them hang out. Get comfy.
You relate to them. You believe them. You might even live by them.
But familiarity isn’t the same as clarity. And it’s definitely not the same as truth.
If the voice inside your head is leading with pressure, panic, fear, or confusion…STOP.
It’s’ time to know who’s talking in your head, and what is true.
You don't have to sit by and let the invaders of your mind, take control of your mental or spiritual space. You are to guard your heart and mind, and know that peace can be yours. It's not easy. It's not automatic. It's not to be taken lightly.
It is doable. It is yours to claim. It can be repeated with intention.
So how do you know who’s talking in your head?
Time to dial in. Ask yourself:
- Does this thought build up or tear down?
- Is this rooted in fear or grounded in love?
- Would I say this to someone I’m mentoring or caring for?
If the voice inside your head is telling you that you are the role and hole you feel stuck in…STOP.
Time to dial in, so you can hear more clearly.
Simple Step Solution: The Thought Audit
Over the next week, do some Thought Audit journaling.
- Choose a time (morning or end of day), or keep a notepad handy throughout the day.
- Write down the repeating negative thoughts you noticed.
- Next to each, ask, then answer:
- Is this truth or noise?
- Does it line up with my true identity…who God says I am?
- How can I neutralize or take this thought captive?
Bonus: Replace the “noise” with a declaration rooted in Scripture.
Example:
💭 “I’m always behind.” → 🙌🏽 “It’s not my timing that’s perfect. I (desire to) walk in step with God’s timing. He created time, and He is perfect." (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11)
You can’t stop the voices…the thoughts from coming at you…trying to take up space in your mind. BUT…you get to choose who gets to hang out and be comfortable…and lead your actions.
Choose wisely.
Because when you start listening to the voice of truth…the One who created you, knows you, leads you, and loves you…you’ll walk more clearly, speak kindly more (to yourself and others), and move forward with peace and confidence.
There’s a subtle but powerful shift that happens when you start thinking from your God-given identity rather than reacting from your blame-and-shame insecurity.
Insecurity. That seed that gets planted somewhere along the way, and others (and YOU!) keep watering it, helping it to grow. It's time to STOP!
I mean, most of us…if we’re honest…have been trained to think reactively, because of it:
- Who really likes me?
- Do I measure up to…?
- Is it approval that I’m looking for?
- Will I succeed?
On and on. It’s exhausting. And it’s not the framework you were designed to live from.
When you’re rooted in your true identity, your thoughts flow from it.
It’s renewed thinking, not reactive thinking. The difference can be subtle but life-changing. One is freedom. The other is fear.
Reactive thinking from insecurity sounds like, “I have to charge (earn) my worth.”
Renewed thinking from identity sounds like, “I was created on purpose, for purpose.”
Which thought would you choose to entertain and live by?
When a thought comes into your mind, it’s important to “think” before you…think.
Not kidding!
Step 1: Pause before you (think) entertain the thought.
I know. Sounds weird. But many of us are running on auto-thought. A thought comes in.
I know. Sounds weird. But many of us are running on auto-thought. A thought comes in.
- We keep thinking on it!
- It gets compfy.
- We let it hang out.
- It becomes familiar.
- We’re confused if it belongs there or not…or how to kick it out, if it doesn’t.
- We find ourselves in agreement with it.
- We react from it, and because of it.
Try this instead: When a negative (or questionable) thought comes in:
- Slow down and filter it.
- The moment before you react, notice the mental story forming.
- Ask yourself, “Is this truth, or fear talking?”
- If it's fear, reframe it with renewed thinking from truth. (Step 2)
Step 2: Neutralize, Reframe, and Replace it From Truth.
Sometimes just neutralizing the thought, can calm us down for the next step. This is simply removing the “judgement” from it. Then, use Scripture, or even your “I Am” identity statements to reframe it. Let me give you an example here.
Sometimes just neutralizing the thought, can calm us down for the next step. This is simply removing the “judgement” from it. Then, use Scripture, or even your “I Am” identity statements to reframe it. Let me give you an example here.
The thought: “I keep stupidly making the same mistakes!”
Neutralize the thought: “Everyone makes mistakes.”
Reframe it from truth: “I am created. I am loved. I am purposed. I am finding my way through this.”
Step 3: Focus on Practice, Not Perfection.
This is a rhythm…not a checklist. This is orchestration…not balance. Your thoughts won’t be perfect, nor will they be balanced out in your brain. BUT…they can be aligned with your identity over time. It does take time. It does take practice.
This is a rhythm…not a checklist. This is orchestration…not balance. Your thoughts won’t be perfect, nor will they be balanced out in your brain. BUT…they can be aligned with your identity over time. It does take time. It does take practice.
Hey…we all have mental challenges. Some are deeper than others, and I’m not here to belittle anyone’s struggle, or magnify someone else's. Because believe me…I’ve personally seen some darkness. A big first awareness step, is learning to notice what your mind is driving you toward. Because sometimes, it’s hard to answer that question, “Where is this even coming from?”
So, ask yourself:
- Am I trying to prove something or live from something?
- Is this thought aligned with who God says I am?
- What is this thought moving me toward?
- Would peace or pressure follow this way of thinking?
Alignment with truth produces peace.
And when our minds are troubled…we want peace.
Let’s trade insecurity for alignment, fear for focus, and confusion for clarity.
✅ Prompts to guide you:
- I am…
- I am not…
- I will no longer agree with…
- God says I am…
- From now on, I will think (and act) from…
Can I share something personal with you?
One of my favorite Scriptures for my thought process, is Philippians 4:6-9. From the Amplified Version, it reads:
"Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God.And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours].
Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].
The things which you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things [in daily life], and the God [who is the source] of peace and well-being will be with you.”
If I were to describe my own mental health journey in one word, it would be “growth.” If I shared another word, it would be “forgiveness.” They really go together. It's hard to have one without the other. Forgiveness definitely came first. And I admit...both are HARD. You don't feel like these emotions and feelings will help you grow. You don't feel like forgiving anyone who has hurt, pressured, accused, or...
Don't take your mental and emotional health lightly. Take it seriously. Take it boldly. Take...care of it.
If you were to describe your mental health journey in one or two words…what would you say?
I’m listening.
I believe:
- you were uniquely created by God
- your identity is key to everything you do in life
- you are here to make an impact...on purpose
- your impact has a ripple impact forward
- life and all of it's transitions, are best viewed from a bridge perspective
- life is better when you orchestrate it, vs trying to balance it
- you can live a healthy, whole life
- you can live a JOY-filled life
- I'm here to help
If you love this information, please leave a comment. 👏🏽🙌🏽
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