Behind the Scenes: Walking My Talk on a Path I Never Expected

In my post, “How Can Bad News Bring About Good Outcomes?”, I talked about how we can see things differently in order to experience them differently. And how that can help us experience different outcomes. Good ones.

I’d like to return to that, and share how I’m experiencing it…personally.

Any time we face a health concern, it’s not unusual to be caught off guard or even…scared. Human.

Recently, when I received a possible diagnosis I wasn’t prepared for…I felt…numb. Numb and calm. Quite the combination, right?

I immediately leaned into my faith. Into God. Listen…we don’t have to wait until the “final report” to begin that. Just sayin’.

Then came the biopsy and then the diagnosis confirmation. Breast cancer.

As I began processing the path and possibilities, I also began processing what I talked about in the other post. The questions that help us process and walk out our journey:

How is God's character showing in this?
Who do you need to be here?
Who can walk this journey with you?
What lessons can you learn in this process?
Who will you share your story with...on the other side?

So, today, I want to walk you through how I’m processing these steps for myself. I trust it will help you.

The Questions to Step Into That

This isn’t about me being loud or even brave. This is about me being…faithful. Because faithful is what and who God is…and I’m His child. So, in asking myself these questions, here are my answers:

How is God’s character (and identity) showing up in this? – Immutable, He never changes; Omnipotent, He is all-powerful; Omniscient, He is all-knowing; He is faithful. He is infinitely and unchangingly true. He is my Father, healer, and high tower.
Who do I need to be here? (What identified strengths has He given me that I can partner with Him on during this time?) – Connectedness: I believe everything happens for a purpose, and His purpose is what I choose to seek, lean into, and build on. Belief: My values, convictions, and calling are at the core of who I am, and what I do. This is where my decisions come from with a spiritual zeal and a commitment to quality of life. Strategic: I will know and see the steps God lays before me, and I can and will follow His plan confidently…to the other side. Those strengths I can tap into easily, first. Plus…Relator: I can use this for the next question, in choosing “my circle” of prayer partners. This means I have that ability to choose wisely and connect deeply. And of course, Achiever: I link things together…nothing is by chance. And I have the stamina to see this through!
Who can walk this journey with me? – This is different from just the people I tell about my situation. I always look for a mentor, a pastor, and a friend to walk with me. People who are humble, non-judgmental, prayerful, and…kind. Those who aren’t trying to tell me what I “should” or “need” to do. They’re not sugar-coating anything either. They support me, and also help me stay in alignment with my thoughts, words, choices, and actions…and to stay spiritually grounded and aligned.
What lessons can I learn in this process? – I believe there’s a lesson in everything. I love looking for lessons, takeaways, possibilities. JOY-ous possibilities. I also know that some of the lessons might feel…uncomfortable. Hard. But some are also…great! So, I look for them all. Take them all in. Move forward with them. Share them.
Who will I share my story with...on other side? – Ah. This one is what happens during and after this journey. When I shared this diagnosis with one of my brothers, he prayed with and for me. And I told him…I’m in this for the testimony. The story about the experience that I will know firsthand. Sometimes…that story isn’t about an immediate healing…taking this away. Sometimes, that story is about the healing journey itself. And that story can be for the people who see me walking through it. The hard times. The good times. The LONG times. Them witnessing HOW I walk through it. Who I am BEing. Because an actual healing journey…that’s unique to us. It’s personal. It’s what’s possible. Not just in the immediate. But also in the experience itself.

What you won’t see from me is daily updates or loud broadcasts on social media. You won’t get bombarded with extra emails or blog posts. I mean…that’s not me, anyway.

What you will see from me is…who I am. I’m going to express my reality, and also… share truth. I’ll be encouraging you, because I am encouraged. I’ll tell you to keep walking because…I am. I’ll express Onward and Upward…because my focus continues there.

In the end, I believe a life bridge can be a person, place, or thing. So, here are two ways to look at this:

This is a bridge on my life path. It's something I will cross to stay on path. It's not always easy, but I'll have everything I need to make it.
OR...it's a season on my life path, and I have the bridge I need (see next section) to get to the other side of this time.

I'm seeing this as a season. A time that I'll walk through.

Either way...I choose to walk my talk.

A Closer Look at This Bridge

So, if I'm seeing this as a season...a path of time I'll walk through, then the bridge that protects me from it...crosses over it. And that's what I'm looking at here.

The planks. These are the steps I must take that carry me through the entire process. I pray for wisdom.

The guardrails. These are my caregivers. My medical team that guides my process. I pray for them and their families, that they are well, and are guided by the Holy Spirit.

The support beams. These are my people from question 3 above. They are a non-negotiable. They help me hold everything up. If anything fails…they help me get it all together again.

The path this bridge is on. Yeah. This is from question 1 above. Because as I face this bridge, I must consider that it is here on my path for a purpose. God’s purpose…for me. And I know I can trust Him to be…who He is. I give Him the glory.

And my part:

Stay prayerful.
Listen and believe.
Use wisdom and active faith.
Make wise choices.
Take best actions.

If all of this sounds…a little too calm for you…I get it! LOL

But I have to tell you, it’s what I’ve been singing about since the beginning of this year. I wrote a song, “Covered by Your Peace.” It’s a very short and simple praise song, and in it, I say:

“You cover me. You cover me. You cover me…with your peace.”

I’ve been singing it almost every morning since. In fact, It's how I end my mobility routine. How appropriate, right?

And that’s exactly what I feel! I mean, there was even one day when my youngest daughter texted me to check in with how I was “doing.” And I told her that I felt a peaceful unrest. She said, “What does that even mean?”

The best way I could describe it was…it’s like there is an undercurrent of unrest. A bit of agitation. But I could feel peace covering the surface…settling down what was underneath. Going down to the deepest parts of it. Settling the unrest…with God’s peace.

She said, “Oh! That makes sense!”

Can you see that picture? It’s beautiful. I’m drawing from that daily. I’m walking in that!

So, while there are a lot of the feels I’ve been feeling…that’s for sure 🤔😐🙄😣😌…God’s perfect peace covers them all. He is sovereign over all. He covers me with His perfect peace!

I’ve already experienced some beautiful peeps (my guardrails) that will be with me on this journey. Answering lots of questions. Anticipating the ones I’ll have, and reassuring me. God’s perfect peace covers it all. He covers me with His perfect peace.

Here are some of the things I’m walking with

I’ve taken this from my previous post:

Asking deeper questions or finding deeper meaning. - Understanding and standing in...truth. Appreciating what I already have, who I already am, and where I know I’m going.
While that interruption may feel unfair, it can also be kind. It definitely gives opportunity to rethink priorities...and share more with family and friends.

Bad news has its own way of bringing truth to the surface.

Sometimes the good outcome is that I became willing to respond in a better way. A way that takes me out of (and surrendering) what I can't control...and into what I can.
And it's really a peace from becoming more honest about how I’m living through the questions that are now showing up. And...how much I can rely on God's gift of peace...that passes my understanding.
We often think a good outcome has to be some big, obvious, impressive...thing. But many of the best outcomes are quiet. Or subtle. Sweet.
Bad news does not get the final word unless I Iet it. Because not every loss makes sense right away. Most don't. But truth has a way of setting a new direction. And God always has a way of meeting me there.
I don't need to force gratitude for something this painful. And…I choose to let my gratitude be about the whole of this situation, and the JOY-ous possibilities that might come from it.
I do NOT need to pretend "everything is just fine."
And you know what? I choose to stay open to the possibility that something good is coming from this. In fact…I know it will. It has already begun!
- A clearer mind. A healthier body. A steadier spirit. Better boundaries. Stronger faith. Closer relationships. A more honest life.
And, who knows? This news I never wanted...might just be the beginning of the life I truly needed...or I’m being called to.

I’m Here to Walk My Talk

Without being loud. Without the extra noise or fluff. With transparency and authenticity. Without TMI.

Just know that…yep…I’m human. It's gonna be a thing!

When life happens to us, we can also choose to let it happen for us, and through us. (That’s another subject for another time.)

Is it easy? Nope. But we can keep it as simple as we can, regardless of the path change, or the bridge we face on our path.

Keep walking!

#YourBridgeIsNotTooFar

At the time of this publication...I am now 48 hours post-op! Yes. I've had the lumpectomy, and faithfully waiting for the next pathology report. I am SO grateful for all that has taken place...so far! If you'd like to connect with me personally on this, please contact me here.

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I'll meet you on the bridge!

Deni