My sister-in-law (SIL) was visiting for a week or so. One day, as I was sweeping the floor...again...she said, "You must love sweeping."

I have one of those broom and dustpan-with-a-handle tools. You know the one. The kind they use in restaurants sometimes. Well, I use it daily to get the things the Swiffer might just push around later. So annoying.

Anyway...I looked back at her smiling at me, and with a big smile, I said, "Actually, it's not that I love sweeping. But I DO love the results of my sweeping."

Then she said something that kind of surprised me…but not really.

"That's really who you are, isn't it?"

You see, what I focus on is the clean floor. We’re not walking on the “particles” as I call them. They’re gone. The rooms feel refreshed. The house feels cared for. I’m not waiting to push those things around later when I Swiffer. No...I don't have a Roomba.

I mean…seriously. The few minutes I spend sweeping here and there today, can save me from a much bigger job later.

My SIL had seen me do similar things when we visited her mom, my mother-n-law. Even when I’d come to her house and we'd cook together. Same thing. Little routines to make things easier...later. LOL

I smiled right back. "It is, girl. It's who I am."

What she saw wasn't really about me sweeping the floor. When my SIL said, 'That's really who you are, isn't it?' she was recognizing a pattern. Actually, she was seeing a principle I try to live by. It really is part of who I am.

I look for simple steps that create meaningful results. In this case, no...it's not about the sweeping. The sweeping is just one example of a much bigger way of living for me.

Small Steps Can Create More than Just Better Results

I know that when we do small things consistently, we just might avoid dealing with bigger tasks or even problems later.

A few minutes of sweeping today creates a simpler cleaning routine on the weekend.
A short walk today supports better health tomorrow.
A meaningful conversation today strengthens a relationship over time.
A small adjustment today can prevent a major course correction later.

But the challenge is when people focus on the process they may dread, and miss the payoff...they might love.

They see the effort of the sweeping, so they hate it.

I see the result of a clean floor, so I do it.

They see time spent or the inconvenience, so they avoid it.

I see the benefit and result of what I can enjoy now...and what I might avoid later, so I do it.

When we learn to connect our actions to who we are, we value the outcomes more. And when we value the outcomes more, the process becomes SO much easier to…enjoy.

Identity Changes Everything

The longer I reflected on my SIL's comment, the more I realized her observation was identifying something that I believe is much deeper.

This isn't really just about habits.

It's first about identity...and walking in that. Using our identity to help create the process that gets us to the results we desire!

Many people try to force themselves into action through willpower. Well...that can be short-lived.

They tell themselves they should do something.

They need to do something.

They have to do something.

And then they resist or procrastinate.

But you can't pressure yourself into lasting change, and make it stick. Well…unless it’s life-threatening. But I can tell you…I’ve seen people in life-threatening positions or conditions...still make poor choices.

What works, is when what we do comes from the “right” alignment. It then becomes what we GET to do.

When you know who you truly are, your choices begin to reflect that identity. At some point…others recognize it. They may not fully understand it but…they “know that about you.” And that's a good thing!

You aren't just cleaning a floor.

You're caring for your environment.

You aren't just taking a walk.

You’re someone who appreciates and cares for your body.

You aren't just setting a boundary.

You're honoring your space and values.

You either are, or becoming someone who values wellbeing.

The action becomes an expression of who you are.

That’s the difference between results-driven living and process-resistant living.

Ponder that one.

Here’s what I know to be true

I don't have to love every step to appreciate what the step produces. And that’s a powerful realization.

Many people believe they have to feel motivated to take action. Others believe they need to enjoy the process before they'll stay consistent.

The lens I see life through (part of my identity) allows me to operate differently.

I appreciate the outcome so much that it changes my relationship with the process.

Example: Part of my identity helps me to go into almost any opportunity or situation, and find clues for handling it. I naturally piece together patterns of “cause and effect” from past or current situations or experiences. This in turn allows me to offer alternate paths to a particular goal. I instinctively know how to come up with innovative solutions (I call them Simple Step Solutions) that short-circuit problems before they arise. I’m on it…before it can even happen.

Talk about prevention!

I believe…it’s what makes my coaching unlike any other! My clients love it!

Drives my hubby crazy. LOL

What I’m saying is:

Not every entrepreneur loves bookkeeping.

Not every leader loves difficult conversations.

Not every person loves meal prep, exercise, budgeting, or setting boundaries.

But when they can love what those things produce...that becomes the focus. Then, we figure out how they could do it...best.

Learning to Be in the Doing

After working one-on-one with many patients and hundreds of clients…one of the biggest reasons I’ve seen people procrastinate, is because they don’t see the connection of their identity and their actions. They don't know how to put those pieces together, and they don't know how to do it...naturally.

They mostly feel...the disconnect of their desire to the process of getting there.

Ponder that one.

They focus too much on “doing it later” more than understanding that now, connects us to later.

What I've observed is how some people postpone the small step because they only see the effort required...and that’s work. Work they don't really want to do. Or learn how to do...better.

What if we looked at things differently? Yep. A different lens. 😎

What if we asked:

What part of me can do this...better?

How can I step into that part of my identity right now, to do this?

Or even...

How can this action reflect who I am becoming?

For me, sweeping the floor isn't about loving the broom, the feel of the broom, the sweeping of the broom…OR the dust and particles that go into the dustpan because of the broom. LOL

It's about loving what that intentional action creates.

It's about recognizing that even the small steps matter. To me...the simple steps rock!

It's about finding fulfillment not only in the result, but in becoming the kind of person who creates those results consistently.

Yaas! 🙌🏽

That's where real transformation begins.

Finding that part of who you are…that helps you make better choices…that lead to better actions…and ultimately delivers better outcomes...helps you live a lifestyle you love. BOOM!

Ya gotta love it! I mean!

Whether it's a clean floor, a healthier body, a stronger relationship, more meaningful work, or a more fulfilling life…the principle remains the same:

Know who you are.
See JOY-ous possibilities.
Choose accordingly…and take the step.
Then keep walking.

Why This Matters in My Coaching

As I reflected more on this, I realized something.

The conversation wasn't really about sweeping.

It was about seeing. Noticing. Naming.

My SIL saw a pattern that I have lived for so long...but never take for granted.

And whether she fully understood it or not, she saw that I naturally look for the connection between who I am, what I do, and the results those actions create.

That's also how I coach when helping others.

I don't believe everyone sees everything the same way...same routine, goals, habits, or strategies.

What works beautifully for one person may feel completely awkward for another.

But as long as the difference isn't coming from resistance, avoidance, jealousy, or rebellion...there are solutions that work.

My role isn't to help people become more like me.

My role is to help them become more fully themselves.

Over the years, people have described me with words like oak, river, bridge, bridge builder, guide, sage.

I've always found it interesting that none of those descriptions point to someone who stands in the spotlight.

They point to someone who helps others find their footing, discover their direction, and move forward...with wisdom, insight, simplicity and confidence.

That's the work I love. Especially when we get some JOY in the process. 😊

I help people uncover who they are, what matters most to them, and how to align their choices, actions, and lifestyle with that truth.

Not just wellness. Wholeness.

Not just personally. Professionally.

Because when who you are and how you live begin working together...everything changes.

Your decisions become clearer.
Your actions become more intentional.
Your life feels less like something you're managing...like work...and more like a way you're living...like JOY-Fully.

That's the bridge.

And helping people cross it is one of the greatest privileges of my life. It's why I do what I do. I’m SO blessed!