Have you ever watched a movie or TV show at home, and suddenly…
...it's time for the commercial break? It’s LOUD!
It gets your attention, right?
Oh…I’m SO not a fan of that. LOL In fact, I watch TV holding the controller so I can…control the volume as I see fit. Mute when necessary. (Hubby’s a bit slow to do this. LOL)
Sometimes it’s TMI for me…or totally irrelevant. Just because it’s there…and loud…doesn’t mean it gets my full attention.
January has a way of turning the volume up
You would think that after the holidays, the volume of life would go down, but…it's more like the commercial break.
Even if your life is “good”… even if you’re grateful… even if you’re hitting goals…
It can still feel loud.
And sometimes when that happens…it doesn’t matter what’s trying to get your attention…the good, the bad, the indifferent…it can be annoying.
There can be “You should…” messages everywhere.
- Family needs.
- Team needs.
- Client needs.
- Your own standards.
- Your own expectations.
- Your own desire to do it “right.”
And suddenly…you can’t hear what you need to hear anymore. You can’t hear what matters. You can’t wait for the “loud” to just be over, so you can get back to what DOES matter.
When you’ve been living in “always on” mode…mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even spiritually…you might think or hear the wrong feedback. Which leads to…the wrong response.
There’s a responsibility that comes with having the controller in your hands…the baton (for orchestration!). And it takes wisdom to know how to use it. It’s a gift.
Be the chooser.
Be the wise chooser
The problem with a loud life
There was a time in my life (a very long time) when I felt like I was always...on. And what I noticed was, what was true for me...was a bit foggy during that time.
Like…I wasn’t in the dark. I wasn’t deceived. I just wasn’t clear. I questioned. Like I was walking forward…but in a bit of a fog. A haze.
Maybe you can relate:
You can still show up.
You can still produce.
You can still smile, lead, serve, parent, deliver, and perform.
But inside? It’s like my laptop…you’re carrying WAY too many open tabs.
For realz.
Noise isn’t just sound
Noise is:
- the mental list you keep running even when you’re “resting”
- the invisible pressure to be ahead of schedule (knowing you’ll barely be ON schedule)
- the constant doubting, like…for what might go wrong
- the background comparison (even if you don’t think you’re comparing)
- the feeling that you “should” be more excited, more motivated, more clear by now. More.
When this happens, decision fatigue sneaks in because you’re making too many micro-decisions all…day…long:
What should I do first? What should I do next? Did I say that right? Is this the best use of my time? Am I behind? Should I change direction? Should I push through?
That’s the loud life, my friend.
And if you’re in it right now, I want you to hear this clearly (might be tough):
You are in an involuntary crescendo.
You may feel overwhelmed. You may feel broken.
Like the commercial breaks… it’s WAY too loud in your life right now.
Let’s bring the volume down a bit. Let’s orchestrate a decrescendo…without stalling your life. Shall we?
But first…
The two types of loud (and how to spot yours)
We all experience both kinds of loud. And especially high achievers. 😎
See which one is leading.
External loud
External loud is everything coming at you from the outside:
- a calendar that leaves no breathing room…you may have added things that don’t even need to be on a calendar
- too many commitments stacked too close together…because “it’s just that time of year”
- constant messages, notifications, meetings, and “quick questions” that you feel obligated to respond to
- expectations (spoken or unspoken) from family, clients, teams, or peers…because you’re trying to be all things to all people
- too much input: news, social media, podcasts, videos, advice…because you believe that somewhere deep down inside, you need to know all…the…things
External loud often feels like:
“I can’t catch up. I don’t have time.”
“I can’t get ahead. I don’t need this.”
“I can’t get space. I don’t have the bandwidth.”
Internal loud
Internal loud is the sound inside your own mind:
- looping thoughts you can’t shut off…even if you did have the controller
- self-pressure that never seems satisfied…no matter how you show up
- second-guessing decisions after you make them…because you’re not grounded
- rehearsing conversations…that you may or may not have
- replaying mistakes…that you haven’t forgiven yourself (or others) for
- perfectionism disguised as “high standards”…because you’re walking in imposter syndrome
- the fear of disappointing someone (or yourself)…because you’ve run out of other feelings
Internal loud often feels like:
“I can’t settle. I’d be unhappy.”
“I can’t decide. I might be wrong.”
“I can’t relax. I’m not sure I even know how.”
“I’m not enough. It’s not enough.”
Okay…enough is enough.
A quick self-check
Take one slow breath in…and after you fully exhale… ask yourself:
“What’s the loudest thing in my life right now?”
Not the most urgent.
Not what you “should” say.
The loudest.
Try that again. Breathe. Be curious.
It’s not uncommon to immediately think of something practical (“my schedule”), or something emotional (“I’m disappointed in myself”), or something relational (“I’m tired of being the strong one”).
Whatever rises to the top. Just notice it. No fixing yet. Just noticing.
The 3-Minute Reset
And while I love me a full morning routine 😊…you don’t need one to step out of the commercial break in your life.
You don’t need to disappear for a weekend.
You don’t need to change 10 things.
You don’t even need to journal (unless you want to).
You just need a mindset shift…three minutes to interrupt the noise. Ready?
Consider this is your “Hearing” reset
(You COULD journal this. 😉)
Step 1: Name the loud thought (exact words)
Not the topic. The sentence.
Maybe you’re thinking one of these:
- “I’m running out of time.”
- “If I don’t do this perfectly, then it won’t matter.”
- “I should be much further along.”
- “People are counting on me and I can’t drop the ball…again.”
- “If I rest, I’ll lose momentum and have to start over.”
- “I don’t know what I want anymore. Seriously.”
Say it out loud if you can. Quietly if you need to.
There’s something powerful about bringing a thought into the light. It stops being a fog and becomes a sentence you can actually work with. And to do that…
Step 2: Separate fact or truth vs. story
I always tell my clients that there’s a difference between reality and truth. Reality is what they’re experiencing or feeling. That’s their story. But that’s not always what is true.
Consider looking at what’s happening in your story, separate from what is REALLY going on.
Now ask:
“What’s the fact (or truth)? And what’s the story I’m adding?”
Facts are simple and measurable.
Stories are the meaning we give it, the interpretation, the pressure, the “therefore I am…” that we add on.
Example:
- Fact: “I have three deadlines this week.”
- Story: “This week will crush me and I can’t handle it.”
Or:
- Fact: “I made a mistake in that meeting.”
- Story: “Now they won’t trust me.”
Or:
- Fact: “I feel tired.”
- Story: “Something is wrong with me...I'm losing it.”
This step is where the fog begins to lift, and clarity begins to return…because clarity usually doesn’t come from doing more…like adding on the story, and walking in that.
It comes from seeing the truth...the facts...and walking forward FROM that.
Step 3: Choose one quiet action to take in the next hour
Just during the next hour. It won’t take an hour, but…it could, because YOU have the baton. 😁
What I’m saying is…be the chooser, and choose one quiet action that lowers the volume. (This is life orchestration!)
Examples:
- Close two browser tabs and finish one small task.
- Drink water and eat something that actually supports your body.
- Put your phone in another room for 30 minutes without checking it for the next 30 minutes after that.
- Stand outside for 2 minutes and breathe like you mean it. Keep breathing deep, cleansing breaths.
- Send one clarifying email instead of replaying it in your head.
- Decide the “good enough” version of something, and move forward.
- Take a 10-minute reset walk before your next meeting. Longer if you can.
Here’s the key:
A quiet action is not dramatic. It’s simple. (I love simple.) It’s steady. The baton is lowered and moves gently to change what’s we hear.
This is BEing in motion.
This is momentum without obligation, but with intention.
Practice Orchestration
I know.
It bears repeating: Balance often sounds like you’re supposed to perfectly distribute your energy across all areas of life at all times. That can get noisy.
And, that’s not real life.
I teach orchestration because it’s more authentic…and more sustainable. More JOY-filled.
Orchestration means you’re still carrying real responsibilities…but you’re arranging them with wisdom, intention, and…joy.
So, if your life feels loud, don’t start by increasing effort.
Start by reducing input.
Before you “push harder,” lift the baton…pause…ask:
- "What information am I consuming that’s making me anxious?"
- "What conversations am I allowing that leave me drained?"
- "What commitments are multiplying my mental tabs?"
Rarely is the breakthrough more hustle.
But it’s always less noise.
The “One Less Thing” strategy
Pick one category and choose “one less thing” today:
- Remove: Stop doing something that’s not truly yours to carry.
- Pause: Put it on hold for 7 days. Not forever. Just long enough to breathe.
- Delegate: Give it to someone capable (even if they do it differently than you would).
- Delay: Move it out of the danger zone of today.
You really don’t need 10 random changes. You need one wise one.
Small boundaries that don’t require a big conversation
Boundaries don’t always have to be heavy or confrontational.
Try these “quiet boundaries”:
- “I’m not available for calls before 10am.”
- “I’ll respond to messages twice a day, not all day.”
- “I’m taking 15 minutes before I reply.”
- “I’m not adding anything new this week” (even if I take something off).
- “Let me confirm and get back to you” (instead of auto-yes).
These are orchestration moves. They lower the volume without compromising relationships.
Here's what I know to be true
Clarity usually returns when we stop treating our thoughts as commands.
A thought can be loud and still be untrue.
A feeling can be intense and still be temporary.
A fear can be convincing and still not be ruling.
You don’t have to entertain every thought that shows up in your mind.
You can acknowledge it…
question it…
filter it…
and choose your next step with intention.
Now you're better prepared to cross that bridge!
Here's my encouragement to you
Take a quieter next step.
You were not created to live in constant mental noise.
You were created on purpose, from purpose, for purpose.
So, take three minutes today.
- Name the loud.
- Separate fact from story.
- Choose one quiet action for the next hour.
Keep walking!
The Spiritual Side
If you’re faith-grounded, or even just faith-curious, this part is for you.
When life gets loud, there’s a verse that gets quoted a lot…sometimes so much that it starts to feel like a slogan:
“Be still…”
Ok. That’s the “A” part of the verse.
The “B” part of the verse is, “…and know (recognize, understand) that I am God.” Powerful.
Did you know there was a “C” part of that verse? “I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10 AMP
Being still doesn’t mean doing nothing.
It means stopping the frantic inner motion long enough to remember what is truth. WHO is truth.
Stillness is not weakness.
It’s obedience.
It’s strength under control.
It’s you being given the baton by the One who created it...and you...and you orchestrating in what you know to be true.
A simple prayer prompt you can use in the middle of a loud day:
“God, show me what’s true…and what’s just loud.”
Then pause. Be still. Even for ten seconds.
Sometimes peace enters through the smallest opening. Acknowledging, understanding...Who He is.
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I'll meet you on the bridge!
Deni
I believe:
- you were uniquely created by God
- your identity is key to everything you do in life
- you are here to make an impact...on purpose
- your impact has a ripple impact forward
- life and all of it's transitions, are best viewed from a bridge perspective
- life is better when you orchestrate it, vs trying to balance it
- you can live a healthy, whole life
- you can live a JOY-filled life
- I'm here to help
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