It’s been many years now, but I can still remember…
...something wasn’t right. There was a nodule or cyst on the inner side, behind my left knee. (Not exactly the position of a Baker’s cyst.) It was annoying more than anything…at first. Then discomfort reared it’s head. Next…pain. I did all.the.things I knew to do as a corrective and therapeutic exercise specialist, to relieve and avoid the pain in my knee. But it got bigger, then came the point where I was even MORE annoyed and tired of it. When the pain was pretty persistent…regardless of what I did…I went to see a specialist. (Don’t worry. I didn’t drag it out too long. LOL)
The orthopedist did a full evaluation with an x-ray to rule out a few things. The x-ray showed good joint space and alignment, so he prescribed an MRI to look at the soft tissue. He suspected some irritation or tearing of the meniscus, although I was functioning well, that may have caused the growth. I was more concerned about the growth, and that it may have caused the wear on my meniscus. Hmmm. 🤔 Kind of a chicken/egg thing.
When he went over the MRI with me, one of the views showed the growth (cyst/tumor) shaped like a…dumbbell. LOL We both laughed, because of my profession as a personal trainer. This was because of the way it was positioned around the connective tissue of my knee. A dumbbell. 🤣
The recommendation? Surgery. Simple, 2-part, low-invasive surgery to 1) remove the cyst (this would take a small incision on the inner knee, and 2) orthoscopic surgery (entrances on both sides of the knee) to clean up the meniscus and do any repair needed if there was tearing. Ummm. Really? Yep. If he just cleaned up the meniscus, the cyst would remain and cause more irritation. If he just removed the cyst, there was a very high probability that the pain would continue, because of the meniscus issue he suspected. UGH.
When he saw my hesitation (I ain’t got time for that!), he said, “Is it stopping you from doing your work, or any ADL (activities of daily living)?” Nope. “Well, then…when the pain gets bad enough…come see me, and we’ll do that surgery.” SOLD! LOL (Was that even the right question?)
Remember…a bridge can be a person, place, or thing. In my case, it was a thing. Surgery. For me to get from pain, to pain-free in my physical life area…I had to step into and cross this “thing” called surgery, to get there. Here's what the doctor and I didn't talk about: My physical (and somewhat emotional) well-being was being negatively impacted. How I lived life every day (my lifestyle) had shifted for accommodation and compensation. My relationship with, and how I showed up for my family and clients, was in danger of being compromised. But.I.wasn’t.ready.
I wasn’t ready to step onto the bridge of from-pain-to-pain-free.
The major reason I wasn't ready?
All I could think of was how that surgery bridge would affect my life in the process…vs how the pain I was in was ALREADY affecting it.
Fast forward about a year. The pain was “great enough” and I was ready to step onto that bridge. I knew the crossing would take a while, but…I was ready. But for everything?
Let’s take a pause here.
I want you to consider if there have been any bridges, or if you’re facing a bridge, that…you’re just not ready to cross. Maybe it’s because, for whatever reason…the pain of crossing seems greater than the pain of your current condition or position. But my questions to you are: How are you BEing in the mean time? And how does that affect what you are DOing?
It’s important that you understand the now vs later…to get to the other side. It’s critical that you know exactly what your choices are (what you need) for the crossing.
Where are you facing right now? Are you ready?
Please comment here, or send me a personal note to: deni@denicarruth.com
I'd love to hear from you.
TO BE CONTINUED!
I believe:
- you were uniquely created by God
- your identity is key to everything you do in life
- you are here to make an impact...on purpose
- your impact has a ripple impact forward
- life and all of it's transitions, are best viewed from a bridge perspective
- life is better when you orchestrate it, vs trying to balance it
- you can live a healthy, whole life
- you can live a JOY-filled life
- I'm here to help
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